A Note About Those Parkland Kids

It’s been a week and a half since the shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School.

Honestly, I was waiting to have this conversation with people in Europe, including my host family. Yeah, we have shootings here. Yeah, it sucks, Yeah, no one does a damn thing about it. “No way to stop this, says only nation where this regularly happens” reads an Onion headline after each one. What’s weird in Europe too is that I’m consciously hyperaware of guns, and the absence of them. I’ve been counting and in the month and a half I’ve been here, in three countries, I have seen twelve guns, none of which in civilian hands. Four were carried by the Italian military. The rest were carried by police officers in the U.K., in the airport only.

This shooting was different though. We saw the survivors stand up, and my news headlines were then riddled with high school students demanding action and change from their parents, their grandparents.

I love those kids. I love seeing them be active, and using their voice, their anger, their grief, to demand the change we keep insisting on after every shooting. I’m glad people are listening.

But I’m sad for them too.

It’s not only because they’re traumatized and lost their friends. It’s because the generations before us failed miserably to keep the one after us safe. These kids were supposed to be dreaming about college, their careers, prom, graduation. It was valentine’s day, so they had to deal with high school drama bullshit around that. I know. I’ve been there.

And while I admire these kids, we’re now subjecting them to mud slinging on top of the trauma they have endured. It’s disgusting. I wanted to throw up when I saw that these kids were being accused of being crisis actors, Alex Jones style. It was bad when Alex Jones did it with Sandy Hook, but it was worse when I saw the tactic being used again.

What makes it worse is that while I admire the kids and support them 100%, I’m still afraid of them failing. Not because of their actions, but the actions of the generation before. In the wake of Sandy Hook, newly elected Senator from Connecticut Chris Murphy (whose congressional district when he was in the House included Newtown) fought for common sense legislation that a majority of people actually supported. And in 2013, we watched the legislation die in the Senate.

I fear that happening again. We saw it in the Florida state senate. We watched Senator Marco Rubio answer for his A+ rating by the NRA to the victims of these kids, and NRA spokeswoman Dana Loesch say some semi-decent appropriate things before leaving for CPAC and saying the exact opposite. These kids have momentum, but if dead kindergartners isn’t enough, what is?

I don’t know if I have that answer for you.

Rest in peace to those who died as victims of gun violence, including the Parkland victims, and the ones in the future we are sure to see.

Make good choices,

Britt

Giving Everyone L(e)ip

I’m back with another shitty German joke that I’ve already made way too many of but it’s my blog so fuck you. This one is based on my trip to Leipzig, which was a place I wasn’t anticipating going but it was paid for by my program so I won’t turn down. I sure as hell don’t regret it!

But I need to back up to Thursday.

Thursday night I had tickets for my first concert of 2018: Alt-J with Marika Hackman. Gettysburg and Virginia Beach are weak in the music scene, and you have to drive hours to get to the nearest venue that the artists I like for shows. I don’t have a car and getting people to come along can be a tough sell sometimes, so frankly, I avoid it. Berlin is a great chance to see artists I don’t see live very often. I really can’t wait.

I made my way over to the first venue in Berlin of hopefully many more, hiding from snow and blasting winds under ground with the Ubahn for the most part. The Ubahn brought its fair share of surprises – a man pulled out a harmonica on the train, hooked it up to a speaker, and started playing. When his performance concluded, a old woman started shouting angrily in German. I had minimal idea what she was saying, especially considering the only words I was able to pick up were “Nazis” and “ubermensch.” I was informed later that what she said wasn’t that bad (because all of the Germans on the train would have flipped shit), and mainly she was asking for money and that Nazis wouldn’t give her money so don’t be like Nazis. Either way, she was screaming as she made her way down the train and it was really, really weird.

The walk from the Ubahn stop to the venue was especially spooky in the cold rain. We were freezing our asses off by the time we made our way inside. Little did I know that there was a HURRICANE happening outside, and I just walked about a mile in this. I was warned it was stormy by my host mom, but my American naivete interpreted this as “windy and maybe a lightning flash or two.” Hold on to this part of the story, you’ll need it later.

I was told German crowds were insane. I consider Alt-J to be in the circle of bands that make the general population go “oh I’ve heard [insert popular song (in this case “Breezeblocks”)] and therefore I’m a huge fan!” I thought this place would be pretty popping, and given the flashy visuals Alt-J had with the rest of the vibe, I thought we were in for an experience.

In reality, Alt-J is really good live, and there were more people singing along with some of the more popular (and clearer) songs. I did find it a little weird that there wasn’t much banter – maybe it was a language barrier but still, I would have liked to see a little more of a personality out of them. The crowd seemed really into Marika Hackman (who is insanely talented, by the way – check out her music and we played her on WZBT) The crowd area I was part of was a little pushy and liked to move in front of me to get to the center of the crowd, which was annoying because I can’t see.

those bars would light up in different patterns. It was super cool.

I had a fantastic time overall, and would definitely recommend going if you’re near one of the locations they’re touring.

I made it back to my house intact and was not blown away. I still had to sleep in preparation for my early train ride to Leipzig. My campus decided “you know what let’s bring 135 college kids in a foreign country to a different part of the foreign country at once. great idea!” and of course, I opted in, thinking “fantastic plan! let’s see how this plays out.”

I woke as usual, a little earlier, grabbed my backpack and started on the Ubahn to the campus. It’s about a half hour train ride and about halfway through there was a Facebook post that stated that the train was cancelled, more info to come. My numerous train trips from Norfolk to Baltimore has shown me that trains are kind of like postmen – they’re not subject to the same rules and weather conditions that planes are. While it’s a slower trip and trains frequently run late, I have never seen a train cancelled. It’s at least reliable. I had no idea why a train would be cancelled unless something actually bad happened, and when I got to campus, a quick check of the BBC showed that HEY, THAT STORM YOU WERE IN LAST NIGHT? IT’S A HURRICANE YOU IDIOT.

Oh.

My campus scrambled to find something to replace it and came up with two double decker buses that arrived an hour after they were called. Nice!

I was subject to that illusion we all find ourselves falling for: “I am going to be productive on this three hour bus ride!” That is fake news – I slept.

generic leipzig picture to break up text and make this post less insanely long

I woke up about twenty minutes before we got to Leipzig. We dropped our stuff off at our hotel – cheap, small, clean, not bad. We made our way over to Europa-Haus for a tour, which is a non profit organization dedicated to civic education about the EU and all of the benefits that come from it. It was an interesting tour and presentation, which involved of course a demo, some exercises surrounding the idea of leaving the EU, and what we would do without a lot of the standards the EU sets across all of the countries.

Afterward, we made our way back to the hotel for a short bit of free time, where I realized I was in the most absurd situation I have ever seen: I couldn’t turn on the lights. I was flipping every switch possible. I called my mother (not because of this, but I was already on the phone with her so I asked) and was like “WTF why won’t the lights turn on.” It came to my attention that the lights are activated by putting your key card into a slot in the room, obviously to save the environment. What. The actual. Fuck. Can someone send us instructions next time?

We had a group dinner with the gang who went to Europa Haus at a nice, traditional German restaurant where two courses and our first alcoholic beverage were on the campus. Hell yeah, time to pick the most expensive white wine they have as well as a melt off the bone beef rib and potatoes, and a dish called strammer max, consisting of eggs, bacon, and toast layered weirdly. Either way these were all delicious.

wine mom

The tour group from campus all kind of decided we were going over to a karaoke bar after dinner for drinks and to watch people do drunk karaoke. You’ll never see a video of this, but I did an EXCELLENT rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing.” We also heard the song I posted at the top of this blog – I have no idea what it means beyond a couple of lyrics here and there, but holy shit it made me laugh.

Day 2 ended up on a city tour of Leipzig, and there were a ton of shopping malls in town. Too many. However, the thing is the city tour did give me a decent feel for Leipzig. Berlin held the royal class of Germany, and Leipzig held the merchants. It shows. You get a vibe of a town that knows its history and its place in the books, and is hoping to have a little more fun since they were victims of two violently different dictatorships back to back. The city is still being restored after bombings from WWII – the Soviet occupiers didn’t really put much effort into maintaining old historic buildings and instead decided to let them fall to ruin. If Berlin decided to rebuild immediately and leave the past behind (with a few exceptions), Leipzig embraced the classic and historical beauty.

who let capitalism be this pretty

I’ve never been a huge going out person, but Leipzig really coaxed me out more. It’s Europe and I’m young – may as well enjoy it. My friend matched with a guy on Tinder who was on a study tour through Europe with his music class. She told him to bring some friends, and two of us tagged along with her. We met with the other three at a bar a few blocks away that was far away from the campus tour’s group, and just started talking and drinking for a while. I pet a dog, and we started barhopping for a couple more places. One guy decided to go back to their hostel, and the five of us went on to a second bar that was cool and on the second floor of a cafe.

After a couple of drinks amongst all of us, we made our way to the dance floor to have a good time and dance. The other two friends paired up with the guys, leaving me on my own. I was dancing and enjoying myself, and suddenly a guy starts trying to get into our little circle of friends. He tries grinding up on the other two girls and after their rejections, try me. He grabs my shoulder, and I remove it. He tries again. I remove it. He tries getting up behind me, and I GENTLY push him away from me and say “Nein.” He tries again, and I slap him, lightly, with my left hand (I’m right handed). This wasn’t hard. This was a “take a fucking hint and STOP TOUCHING ME” slap. This was a “I reject you so I want to deflate your ego because your entitled and stupid ass can’t take a hint” slap.

One of his buddies comes up to me after this and tries grabbing my arm. I pull it away and say “nein” again. He’s saying something, but I really can’t tell what it is. He grabs my arm again and by now I’ve lost patience and slap him too. He backs off, but he’s lurking near our group and watching me. The first guy and a couple other people from his group are circling around us like sharks. I’m trying to dance, but I can’t stop watching them. The first guy goes over behind one guy in our group (who is remarkably well dressed) and tries to snap his suspenders. I notice this and quickly move between guy one and my group, daring him to try again, and he backs up. Finally, we decide to leave and I make my way out with the rest of the group. The second guy follows us, and he ONCE AGAIN grabs my arm. I pull it away, and say “NEIN don’t touch me” over and over again. The other guy in our group (the not well-dressed one) stepped between me and this other guy like “buddy no” and we left.

Moral of the story: stop touching people without asking. And if you do it, and they take your hand off because language barriers are even harder in loud bars, STOP TRYING.

We got lost on our way back to the hotel and ended up taking an S-Bahn back to the hotel. I stumbled back to my room at 5am. Ugh. Never again.

We left Leipzig around noon and we made it back to Berlin exhausted, mainly for reasons described above. That’s really about where the story ends here.

Tune in next week for adventures in tacos, government, and more music…. and Venice the week after!

Make good choices (or at least choices better than the two men I slapped),

Britt

I Am A Jelly Donut

Grüße aus Deutschland!

I managed to make my way across a very large body of water and made myself Angela Merkel’s problem versus Trump’s problem. @realDonaldTrump you’re welcome.

Sorry this blog has been super quiet recently – I keep meaning to post a couple things about other trips and of course, Album of the Year, but I haven’t had the energy to actually sit down actually share more about my experiences. I’m working on being better about that, especially since I’m on a big adventure in Europe! That means it’s time to play into stereotypes of people going abroad and blogging about it! I love being a cliche!

The trip was long and somehow I made it over to Europe on my own with minimal issue, but flying in IcelandAir was such a weird yet pleasant experience. I walked on to the first half of my flight and was promptly handed a bottle of water, with a pillow and blanket provided. Plus, the stewardesses were wearing adorable pillbox hats, which I actually loved.

Seriously, look how adorable that pillbox hat is.

And the plane had simulated Northern Lights! And a banging music playlist, featuring Bjork, Soley, Death Grips, and more. I was not paid to say that. It was just pretty dope. IcelandAir also held the plane for a delayed flight from Newark for a solid half hour for more passengers – great if you’re on the other flight, kind of meh if you’re on the one being held.

When I arrived in Berlin, there was no place to stamp my passport (I had it stamped in Iceland). I found people from Gettysburg who I knew were also in the same program and we all had to track down the bus they said was still waiting for us. I was exhausted from the night of travel, and I took the bus ride to sit for a while and watch the city. Berlin is an old city that has been rebuilt constantly and is still changing. The townhouses look similar in construction, but some are brightly colored in blues and yellows and pinks. The older-looking buildings are replicas – the city was bombed so hard that only a few originals remain. Flying into the city, you see tons and tons of windmills as well as farmland. The buildings themselves have oddly shaped floorplans and make the rectangular shaped buildings in America look boring.

I’ve spent the past week or so exploring and making friends. My program brought my group on a bus tour, which was very cool but very, very cold. I was told that when JFK came to visit Berlin and gave a speech that featured the quote “I am a Berliner,” it got turned into a meme in West Berlin because “Berliner” also means jelly donut. I visited the Brandenberg Gate, got a couple of bomb pictures there and in front of  a giant bowl that doesn’t fit in the museum it was supposed to go into. The gate one looks cooler. I promise I’m not trying to pose – I’m trying to keep as warm as I can.

get yourself a friend on the bus tour who takes pictures

Anyway, the bus tour we took brought us past a lot of the sites and taught my program a lot about the city. Not much German though. We did visit the Memorial to Jewish People Killed in the Holocaust (there’s more memorials dedicated to the Roma, disabled, queer, and other demographics that were not Jewish scattered throughout) and it was one of the strangest experiences I have ever felt. It wasn’t sad per se, but it seemed to follow a timeline of the holocaust to me – started with smaller blocks on one end that suddenly got larger combined with the ground just abruptly dropping. It was dark, claustrophobic, and isolating, even though there were people in front of me. The tour guide seemed to agree with my interpretation, even if I didn’t vocalize it. No one really knows exactly what it’s supposed to mean here, especially since the artist refuses to say. Underneath it is a museum as well, which I intend to go back to.

This is somewhere in the middle of the memorial. There are people in here too.

Germany is weird in that drinking and smoking is just a facet of public life. Around the corner from my campus in Kreuzberg is a tiny little convenience store owned by a man named Ahmed. I bought my rose zinfandel with my temporary flatmates to drink with them and eat chocolate. I didn’t think I left much of an impression on him, with my bare minimum “hello” and “thank you” in German because at the time that was all I knew. I visited three or four days later and he remembered me still, and then proceeded to have a conversation in German in front of me with my newer friend, Devin. Apparently he wanted Devin to buy me flowers – and his older friend beside him thought it was hilarious I had no idea what was going on. He then took three mini bottles of liquor, gave one each to us at no cost, and we did a shot with him.  I was told when Devin went back alone that Ahmed was asking about me again. I also visited my first bar, which was covered in cigarette smoke and frankly was too crowded to be much fun. Not a bad experience, but maybe one I would try earlier in the week and not a Friday night.

After the first day of classes, featuring my first German lesson (and basically fixed my problem with my lack of manners), I was picked up by my homestay. I’m the only one from Gettysburg in a homestay, and I’m the only one with no German experience. I was a little worried about being lost in translation, but it’s been extremely helpful to figuring out more German, contextualizing my homework a little more, and fixing my bad pronunciation. It’s also forced me to figure out the Berlin subway system, or Ubahn, to get to and from the school. I’m staying in a house in the southern part of former West Berlin – and the place looks like a fairytale, honestly. It’s older, and oddly laid out, but the garden is beautiful and the atmosphere is cozy. My host family is incredible, and my morning coffee with my host mom is one of my favorite times of day. Which says a lot – I hate mornings. I’ve learned a lot of German from them already, and I’ve been here a little over a week. I ordered food today! How cool is that?!

More on the Ubahn – it’s extremely relaxed. You should have a pass, but no one has checked mine at all since I got here. People walk on and off all the time, and the homeless population comes on the train to beg. Tip for if you come here: give them plastic bottles, because they can redeem that for money here. Not glass, plastic. That’s what I was told by the program is extremely helpful. However, I have realized the full and complete drawback to public transportation: the people. 95% of my train rides have been pleasant and not worrying. However, I got home late one night (around 1am) and I was stopped by a man looking for directions to the bus. Bad German strikes again, and I can’t understand much of what he’s saying besides “bus.” I have to point, and he looks like he really needs help. When I turn to leave, I look down and SURPRISE he has his penis out, and he’s stroking it. Fucking disgusting. I panicked for a moment and just started saying “nein danke” repeatedly and ran out of the exit. I wish I said something funnier or kicked it, but ew. Before I talked about this, by the way, I told my mother and I’m here thinking she’s going to freak out…. and then I get this:

Frankly, my mother’s reaction to this is what made it funnier later on.

I take Leipzig this weekend, and I see Alt-J in concert on Thursday. Should be super fun! I’ll try to be better here only because I’m actually doing something rather interesting. At least, I think so.

Make good choices,

Britt

Me Too.

Angry punk rock.

In 2016, seeing a celebrity name trending on Twitter meant that you feared that celebrity was dead.

In 2017, seeing a celebrity name trending on Twitter means something completely different.

The national conversation has shifted to sexual assault and harassment all over, and as more stories come out, I am disgusted that we as a society have enabled this culture for so long. Harvey Weinstein was just the beginning. More and more prominent figures are being revealed to have acted inappropriately, and the time of a victim simply dismissing it as part of the culture is done.

Understand that none of these people owe you anything. These victims are putting themselves up to the public not only to expose the truth, but to allow you to judge them, criticize them, accuse them of lying, and worse. No one owes you their story, and the responses so many of these people are getting is disgusting and uncalled for.

Note how I’ve said people this whole time. Sexual assault is a problem that plagues EVERYONE, including men. Women are also capable of committing the crime as well; notably overlooked in this floodgate of allegations is Mariah Carey. It is also disproportionately a problem for trans people, and people of color. Do not let the image of the beautiful white actress be the face of this movement. I guarantee you there is a creep out there that has an image of you (or someone like you) somewhere in their brain.

Another aspect is that you need to believe THE VICTIM. A study estimates that anywhere between 2-11% of the accusations are false. That’s a giant majority, and I would absolutely put my money on that case being true, even with the knowledge of that statistic.

Finally, there is an aspect of power to these accusations and the number of people willing to come forward about these accusations. Most of the people involved in these recent allegations have seen their power waning as society moves on to someone fresher and newer. Al Franken is a junior senator from Minnesota who isn’t doing much more comedian work anymore. I had no idea Louis C.K. had a movie coming out, nor did I ever watch his shows. Harvey Weinstein was becoming less of a prominent figure in Hollywood. Roy Moore was never a popular candidate with people outside of Alabama. In the meantime, Donald Trump’s accusers have been silenced as he was elected president. Do not let their voices go unheard. Do not let their voices be forgotten in the conversation.

We need to hold everyone accountable and to the same standard. A very, very high standard. Accountability and consequences dissuades others from pursuing this action in the future. We need to bring more of these ugly truths to light so we can fix the problem as a whole. Accountability needs to become the norm.

I’m not going to go into my own stories of harassment. I don’t owe you that, nor am I quite ready to pour it out in this sort of setting. I will say I was quite fortunate to have had people around me who believed me, and were willing to help me fix it. For that, I am extremely grateful.

In the meantime, I will go into some unsolicited advice you need to hear anyway.

Unless a person is explicitly consenting or enthusiastic about it, don’t touch people, and keep your genitals under your clothes where they belong. Furthermore, there is a difference between a compliment and harassment. “hey gurl ur titties are amazing shake dat ass 4 me” is different than “Holy cow your eyeliner is so amazing!” or “I really like your outfit!”

Also, @ penis havers: your dick is not your most attractive feature and if you were ever in a relationship with anyone, you would know that you need to compensate for that with a decent personality.

I welcome discussion and anything you like to share. I believe you.

Make good choices,

Britt

I Had 5 Minutes of Unawareness Before I Became Sick to My Stomach

Obligatory song.

I woke up this morning and somehow was able to avoid the news for five minutes before realizing something had happened while I was asleep. I saw a bunch of tweets and a bunch of CNN notifications about Las Vegas. After class I made three phone calls to Rep. Scott Taylor and Sens. Tim Kaine and Mark Warner demanding comprehensive gun control. Once I felt civically responsible, I knew I was in for a long day of flashbacks to two days in the past few years that I try to actively avoid thinking about.

It was a cold December day in 2012 when I received a notification from CNN that a gunman opened fire on an elementary school. I went home that afternoon after a long day of high school and waited for my sister, then in first grade, to come home. I hugged her tight, knowing that the classroom of first graders that was slaughtered that day could have been her class. We could have been looking at her sweet little chubby face on TV. To this day the events at a Connecticut elementary school make me nauseous. I saw my president dab away tears at having to give remarks grieving over innocent children. I saw terrified parents and a Congress who responded with inaction.

I was just rereading some articles from 2014 that recounted the events of Newtown, and somehow I missed one story back then. One little girl survived in the classroom Lanza entered by playing dead, and she came out covered head to toe in her classmates’ blood. “I’m okay, Mommy. But my friends are dead,” was what she said, according to her pastor. I read that today and I wanted to throw up.

Nine months later I woke up on September 16, 2013 at my usual time and hugged my mom before she left to go up to D.C. for a meeting. She was up earlier than usual, and both of us were tired. I went to school as normal, and was sitting in my theater class hiding my phone like the bad student I was. Another push notification made my heart stop- a man had opened fire in the Washington Navy Yard, exactly where my mom was supposed to be. I frantically interrupted class to ask to text her and determine her safety- she was. I was one of the only ones who knew where she was. Even my dad had no idea. I hugged her really tight when she came home too.

I’m lucky that I still have a family to hug. Others did not walk away from these events, and many more will not walk away from the events in Las Vegas and will not hug their families tight tonight.

I don’t give a damn about your Second Amendment anymore. Contextualize it for a second- the Second Amendment was put in place to defend against tyranny and at the time, the guns were muskets that take longer to load. The answer to gun violence is not more guns, and several studies and other countries with more comprehensive gun reform have indicated that more obstacles to purchasing guns will help reduce gun deaths, be it from violent crime or suicide or mass shootings like this.

I’m 20 years old and I have lived through some of the worst mass shootings in United States history. I have grown cynical enough to realize they’re only going to get worse or deadlier unless we do something.

Put universal background checks on the books. Put mandatory gun training and the reason for buying the gun on the books. Get an assault weapons ban out there. Close the gun show loophole. Put obstacles in place to protect American lives and not the interests of the NRA. Just because you may be a responsible gun owner does not mean others are, and it is in the best interest of everyone’s safety to keep guns out of their hands. No one outside of the military needs a military grade automatic weapon. Call your representatives now and demand the gun control legislation that America needs. Now.

Make good choices,

Britt

You Want a Revolution, I Want A Revelation: Disillusionment With Utopia

The obvious choice is Hamilton, but instead you get something I’m just jamming to.

I just threw a lot at you in that title: Hamilton, and a couple of buzzwords that don’t necessarily indicate where this post is going. Sorry about that. I like the quote.

If you met me about… we’ll say four years ago, I was a die hard social justice advocate (I would use warrior, but that wasn’t really true. More like a social justice… mage). I reblogged every single angry left wing post that came up on my Tumblr feed.

But as I looked into them more, I started seeing that the left was using these websites that skewed the truth or used inaccurate information. It wasn’t fact checked, and it didn’t match anything I was seeing online. I value truth and facts, and I was disappointed that I bought into it in the name of being a good person.

In the meantime, I started coming into my bisexuality and finding a queer community that is still interested in helping others and taking away social stigmas and inequality. They all loved these ideas, and I became friends with them and grew to appreciate their points of view. The pressure to advocate for the the same things and join them is present, because these issues MATTER to them. They fight and protest for equal rights, and started moving further and further left. All of a sudden, my friends are communists, anarchists, and anti-capitalists.

I also got more into politics and news, and learned more about the systems in place and why. I’m going to bring it back to America in this particular case, but I’ve also been studying the systems in other countries that have differences in circumstances as well. It has deeply affected my critiques of every system and the role every person plays in the system.

My friends have been pushing for a revolution, and deliver the words “Capitalism is violence” with a smile. “Liberal” becomes a dirty word, as does “leftist” or “democrat” or frankly any label. If you’re not with the group, you’re against them or complicit with the people against them. You mess up, you’re out. You say nothing, you’re siding with the other side. It’s exhausting, hard to keep up with, and so, so negative. Not to say I’m the most positive person in the world, but small victories in any degree are distorted into “not enough” and actually a loss or a wound.

Obviously victory can’t be achieved by just stopping with gay marriage or selling rainbow merchandise at Target. There are a TON of problems to unpack in society that aren’t solved that way. However, I’m worried about the long term turnout of the way these groups of far left advocates want to push their agenda- through a full blown revolution and flipping the table when there are no options that achieve the immediate perfection.

Demanding everything immediately is a slippery slope to go down. It exposes everyone to vulnerability and sloppy execution if it isn’t well thought out. Frankly, in my internet escapades, I don’t see any form of plan and barely any solution. I also see no move to sit at the table and negotiate, which is isn’t going to end well as far as achieving legitimacy. There will always be people who disagree with you. Fundamental human rights should not be compromised, but some of the economic policies and means of achieving the goals you want have to go through a system so it can be perceived as fair by the general population. If it looks like it played by the rules, then it’ll pass the smell test and be more widely accepted.

We’re also in way too deep. By now the system we’ve had in place has been around for a long ass time. It sucks, it has problems, but guess what? EVERYTHING DOES. A full blown reset button would have severe consequences that will not be what you hope it is. However, you can improve the system though. There are solutions being proposed, compromises! Recognized solutions that have popularity, facts to back it up, and can make people happy! It won’t be perfect, but it’ll make everything significantly less shitty!

The resulted desire of perfection they strive to achieve is also impossible. We’re all human. We all make mistakes. Honestly, the level of purity is impossible- and once it’s achieved, what then? What will be the next issue? Seeking purity is dangerous, because you’ll never be satisfied. There will always be a problem, and then you have to determine what you care about more: this one little flaw, or the rest of the package?

Furthermore, dehumanization and other-ing can reach heights that make the group look intimidating, unapproachable, and unwilling to negotiate. In the political climate we’re in today, people are afraid to speak up because they’re afraid of getting their heads chewed off. Hell, I hesitated on even writing this just because I was afraid people are going to hate me for it.

But I’m tired of trying to critique everyone and everything. I just want to appreciate something I like for once. Listing the sins and receipts and infractions everyone and every piece of media has, even from five years ago where people have learned and changed, is exhausting, buzzkilling work. It’s negative, drains my mental health, and makes it impossible to just enjoy myself for once.

Call my ways dove-ish or complicit or centrist if you want. I’d much rather spend my day being nice to my friends, annoying the fuck out of Nazis and far right conservatives, and focusing more on learning more about the system so I can work through it and make a change.

In the meantime, I recommend focusing on things that do bring us together, and stop for a second to take a breath from a vicious news cycle and argument. It’s hostile, toxic, and damaging to people’s mental health. You can’t blame someone for not speaking because they’re afraid of losing friends. Not speaking because you’re afraid of losing friends does not make you a Nazi- it makes you a human being. Educating and broadening their worldview is what will eradicate the issue. Not saying go hug your nearest Nazi either… but I’m saying keep living your life and savor the good things and memories you have with people. Not everyone is going to agree with you, and challenging your own worldview will help make you appreciate the diversity of the world.

Have conversations with people, civil ones, and see if it’s possible to reach a better understanding of each other.

I’m just tired, nothing matters, so I might as well be nice along the way. Fight hate with love.

Make good choices,

Britt

P.S. For more reading, check out this article. It inspired me to write this to begin with. So did this piece, because it talks about Democratic party purity and the “Bernie Standard.”

Doing the Right Thing: A Political Statement of Itself

Heard this in a Starbucks today. Kind of get a different vibe than the Motown version.

Today I saw a man sitting in the White House say things I thought would never be said. I never thought “defending Nazis and the KKK” would be added to a chapter written about this portion of American history.

We should remember what happened in Charlottesville as a vile act of racism, bigotry, and domestic terror. Not a rally for free speech. Not an engagement of violence on both sides. Just a piece of American society that has reared its ugly head and has been enabled by a man sitting in the White House. One man in power has made members of the KKK gather in a city with no hoods on and brandishing Confederate flags and swastikas, and allowed them to stand around with tiki torches and use a car to bulldoze protesters. It was terrorism in America by Americans. The FBI and Homeland Security may not keep domestic terrorist group lists, but driving a car into crowds is a tactic currently used by members of ISIS. It is a terrifying thing when we can’t look to the White House for leadership.

This post isn’t about the White House though. This post is about the U.S. Capitol, and I’m going to tell you that you can’t expect leadership from there either, on either side. Nothing will come from Donald J. Trump’s remarks today, because both sides will criticize him on Twitter but take no action against him. Trump will respond by lashing out on Twitter, but that will only lead to the same vicious cycle of “fake news” and more support for his “Drain the Swamp” campaign. The same song and dance we keep seeing.

Republicans are stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. 2018 is rapidly approaching, and that’s a midterm election year. However, midterm turnout is much lower and the electorate is different than a general election. A major portion of voters do simply turnout for the presidential election in November, and those who turnout for some of the so-called “less important” votes are much more politically energized and therefore partisan. The people who put Donald Trump on the ticket were enthusiastic about it, and to make things worse, the moderate Republican voters are jumping ship. That means that the presidential approval polls are missing a chunk of the party electorate that may or may not come out for them in 2018. They may also get primaried out by the Luther Stranges and Corey Stewarts that are just waiting for their chance to run, as still part of the “Drain the Swamp” rhetoric. It’s not going to end well for the establishment right now, and taking action might not bring back as many voters as they lose. It’s a set of dice they simply don’t have the spine to roll, especially given Trump’s attacks against Mitch McConnell and the fact Paul Ryan had this happen to him:

It's gone now but someone had edited the Wikipedia page for invertebrates to include Paul Ryan 😂😂😂 pic.twitter.com/Oe7qOSp027

— Alp (@alplicable) January 26, 2017

What about the Democrats? Well, they’re in a different situation. Their base is energized in resistance, but as I said before– resistance isn’t necessarily a platform. Sadly, I am not in the ear of top Democrat officials and therefore, it played out exactly as I predicted.

it's very real, just arrived in my inbox pic.twitter.com/FKJmwHXR83

— Max Tani (@maxwelltani) July 5, 2017

Sadly, Democrats believe this is keeping the voter base happy and they need to keep the party invigorated at the moment. They may not have a chance to flip the house yet, but Democrats have more at risk in the Senate. Just look at the class of Senators up for reelection in 2018. There are 8 Republicans up for reelections vs 23 Democrats plus Bernie Sanders and Angus King (marked as Independents), 9 of which are from states Trump won. Trump’s presence allows the party to have a villain in their fundraising narrative. But even then, they’re not really helping spread a positive message and it’s hurting the funding.

To be fair, it’s hard to be positive when the villain is doing such despicable things such as failing to take the political gimme of denouncing Nazis. At some point though, resistance is going to get exhausting. Anger will wear the base out, and they won’t come out and reclaim the House or the Senate if they don’t flip to something more positive or hopeful- maybe something like “Doing the right thing.”

I know this was a long read, and I know it’s not a hopeful one at the moment. But pointing out the problems will hopefully get them fixed sooner. And in the meantime, I’ll leave us on something a little more positive too.

Make good choices,

-Britt

Doesn’t Take An Intellectual To Get I Am Bisexual

I made quite a splash on my personal social media feeds when I put up this picture from my first pride parade:

https://www.instagram.com/p/BVLSfUsl6pK/?taken-by=darkladybritt

I was pleasantly surprised how many likes it got on Instagram and Facebook, more than my usual generic meme content. All circumstances of how I got there and all shitty jokes about it aside, I showed up to my first pride parade with sparkly eyeshadow done in the bi flag colors and fishnets, and eyeliner winged to high heaven. It was definitely one of my brighter looks that I’ve frankly never done before, but I needed it at the time. And honestly, that kind of post was probably the first way I had come out in a way that was visible and available for comment. I had mentioned it once or twice, mainly if you asked or if it had come up in some form of conversation at the time.

Despite the pretty positive feedback I had gotten from the gang, there’s still some thing we need to elaborate on before you start asking me more about my sexuality:

• Are you straight? Fuck no. I know why you would think that- I have talked about my man before, and he is everywhere on my social media. But no, he’s very supportive of me and my sexuality. Just because I am with a man in a hetero relationship does not make my sexuality any less valid.
• Are you like, half and half? No. That’s not how it works.
• Do you flirt with women even though you’re with a man and that totally doesn’t count as cheating? Random Persona I’ve Conjured Up For This Post, that’s super shitty and yes, that is cheating. And no, don’t cheat on people. I don’t see the need to do it, especially since it creates far less problems and emotional distress to just, ya know, talk to your significant other to fix a problem you have. I’ve never even thought of it- too happy in my current relationship to even have the idea of it. That’s something you should strive for.
• Does that mean you guys have threesomes like, all the time? Random Persona, that’s also gross- my family reads this blog and we keep it PG-13 here on Lipstick Prints on Coffee Mugs. Even if they didn’t read this blog, 1) that’s not your business and 2) that isn’t how it works.
• Isn’t that just a phase? No, my Twilight love was a phase. My sexuality is not.
• Are you going to just pick a gender? I mean I don’t give a shit about who I end up with, just as long as they like dogs and make me happy. Why limit your options though?
  
• Does that make you a slut? Gross, why would you draw that conclusion? Why would that matter to you anyway? Please go back to the threesome question for the rest of my answer to this.

Now what? I’ve answered some of the questions that most people go to, and that’s just from internet stuff that people really haven’t asked me because I’m just so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ about it. It’s just me. I do way more weird shit to merit more questions that aren’t related to that.

So, what do I want?

• More bisexual representation. Don’t just put a man and a woman in the bed of the same character. Say it. Say “Oh yeah I’m bi.” It’s not a bad word. There’s nothing shameful about it. It doesn’t violate the FCC regulations on any broadcasting front. It’s FINE.
• Stop erasing our identities. Bisexuals are the B of the LGBT community, and yet people often forget that- on both sides. The group is not the LGTA (with the A standing for ALLY*!!!!) community. Queer friends don’t necessarily accept you unless you’re in a same-sex relationship, and straight friends don’t understand it at all. This piece is joining multiple other thinkpieces about bisexuality and the ostracism from the community under accusations of promiscuity, being fake, and being greedy. I only linked three to keep your reading load light.
• It doesn’t matter to you. I’m trusting you with the knowledge of this aspect of my life, but I’m not hitting on you. I’m the one making myself vulnerable to you. But at the end of the day, it is my identity. It is not an excuse to ask invasive questions about sex, my boyfriend, anything. I literally just want your support and respect for the identity I have. Shut up.

This wasn’t the splashy, sax solo and glitter filled coming out I hoped for. But you know, it’s a good substitute I suppose.

click the image, the song is a jam

I’m still me. Hopefully you still love and appreciate me. If not, well, you’re probably not reading this anyway.

Make good choices,

-Britt

*Note: it stands for asexual.

Experience vs Star Power and the Narrative That Everyone Can Be President

My little sister was born when I was eight, and like any eight year old I had the thought “hey! I’m a member of this family! I can name my new sibling!” I pored over my mother’s baby name books, television shows, my favorite books, etc. and picked out the most absurd names possible that sounded absolutely amazing at the time! On that list? Donald Trump, the then-host of the Apprentice.

Eight year old me just saw him as a funny reality star who just fired people and made people do weird challenges. I was blissfully oblivious to the news cycle, and Twitter was launched a year later in 2005.  I hadn’t learned the full extent of what he had done (Pussygate, anyone?) and how much of a jerk he was. I also had no future predictive abilities, and had no idea he would come back to haunt us.

Another thing I believed when I was eight (and later) was that anyone could become president, and later learned that was limited to a group of people who were U.S. citizens and 35 years old and a resident for fourteen years. Still, I watched a black man be elected president in 2008, saw the headlines everywhere praising the first African American president, and wondered when we’d get a woman in there too.

I’m using those anecdotes to remind you of the fact that star power and name recognition are really powerful things. They can be used for really good things too, like charity and advertising and endorsements… but it can also take a turn for the worse, and can discredit hard work and dedication and a knowledge of the game that is necessary to govern.

One of the key things Trump had going for him was that point exactly. Trump is rich, loud, and conservative- but he also was known as that guy from the Apprentice. He has a star on the Hollywood Walk Of Fame. People knew him over some of the other Republican candidates like Senators Rand Paul or Ted Cruz or Governor John Kasich. Trump’s recent success is going to spur copycats as people think “I can do that. I’ll show the establishment. Anyone can become president!”

Guess what? They’re already starting to pop up.

Caitlyn Jenner: I might run for Senate https://t.co/phRmnbISX1 pic.twitter.com/dE5tmHbKxl

— The Hill (@thehill) July 16, 2017

I have had a ton of emails and texts asking me if this website is real… https://t.co/RRVgISDFeq The answer is an absolute YES. pic.twitter.com/uYCUg6mjW1

— KidRock (@KidRock) July 12, 2017

And before you start dragging me for pointing out tweets of conservatives- here’s more.  The Rock is on that list too, and I think the Democrats especially are digging for some form of star power as a potential challenge to Donald Trump.

That’s a stupid idea, and I’ll say this about Beyonce, Natalie Dormer, Kanye West, Caitlyn Jenner, The Rock, Kid Rock, everyone.

Louder, for the people in the back: THIS IS A STUPID IDEA.

Star power is nice for campaigning, no doubt. You have the money for it, and you have the name recognition to get some supporters who will donate to your campaign from the grassroots. Trump is a fantastic campaigner and can seriously get people hype to be in a room with him, and he thrives on it. That’s why he’s spending time at pointless rallies in random states and did a huge “thank you” tour at the beginning of his term. But you have to kind of admit, he’s clueless when it comes to governing. Trump lacks the knowledge and skillset to handle governing and speaking not for his own interests, but for the interests of a country to a person who is also speaking for the interests of a country… and has nukes to back it up.

I love the narrative that everyone can become president. I love the American dream aspect of it. But part of the American dream idea is that you have to get up and work hard for it. That’s not going to come from the celebrity just stumbling into politics idea. I admire they have the ideas and desire to make a difference, but I don’t believe it’ll turn out well in execution.

Washington is definitely getting a shake-up of experience that Trump promised in his campaign, but we can’t rely on star power to run a country- because once they get there, they’ll have no idea how to handle the job itself or how to handle delicate foreign crises. Running for a big office this way also completely discredits those who have dedicated their lives to serving the American people and spent years learning how it’s done, like it or not.

You can hate the way the establishment handles problems all you want, and there are definitely issues that I take with it. However, at the end of the day, they are the experts who learned how to work people and politics, and learned how to not only listen to other politicians, but to listen to your issues and your stories. There are good-natured people who want to make a difference and they are actually trying to do so, but you might not believe it with the news every day. I promise you, they are there.

The celebrities getting up and trying to go in and fix it have admirable thoughts, but god, please don’t go for the big prize immediately. Work for it, start local, and see what you can think and how far you can get. Take some goddamn civics and government classes to at least refresh your memory. Make room for those who are still trying.

If you hate that answer and still want to make a difference, politics might not be the right arena for you. Do work for a lobby group, or work with a charity of your choice. But please, let the seasoned politicians handle that government wheel, and let them make the change you want to make in a way that might actually let it get done.

Busting through Washington like Trump has distracts from your issues. It is messy, and people have to devote time and energy not only teaching you how to navigate Washington and the way the law works, but also to cleaning up any messes you made that damage your party and your cause. Change can happen through the system by working for it- look at Bernie Sanders, who has been serving Vermont for years since 1981 as the mayor of Burlington and working to build an impressive resume for the presidency. He’s still  fighting for legislation to improve the lives of American people, and he’s stood by his message for years.

If you really want someone to make a change, vote the change in or ask your current representatives to make it for you. Push them, and encourage others to push them too. Highlight issues that you want people to talk about, even the most obscure ones, and make people care. Officials will listen if enough of you speak with the same message.

I’m staring at this dumpster fire in government right now, feeling really disappointed that now I can walk in and say that I have the same experience level as Trump does and I can do anything, including things I definitely should not do. Reason’s gone out the window, which is sad. Accountability, experience, and common sense have been replaced with compliance and denial and reality. We need the former three the most right now to fix the problems being created, so working for it is more important than ever.

And to all the little kids out there watching this shitshow of a presidency and government, work hard and hold people accountable for doing the wrong thing. Learn about the constitution, and learn some manners to accompany it. Experience will get you rewarded- and don’t let Trump or other celebrities hold you back.

Make good choices,

-Britt

P.S. In case you’re wondering, my parents still have those sheets with the baby names on them.

Britt’s Favorite Albums of the Year 2017… So Far

We’ve officially passed the halfway mark on 2017, and honestly- we’ve been spoiled. 2017 has been hell but the music sure hasn’t. Time to do my music director 2017 music director recap, so here are my favorite albums in no particular order:

• Sylvan Esso – What Now: I adored their self titled debut album, and played almost every single song on my radio show over the past year. “Radio” and “Kick Jump Twist” made me wonder what direction they were going in, but as soon as I heard the full I was hooked. The mildly existential lyrics mixed with the fun electropop beats makes for a fantastic summer album. Fun fact: I opened the envelope with this CD and half ran to the station to rip and listen. That’s how hype I was.
• Mountain Goats – Goths: I am a die-hard Goats fan, ask anyone I know, so this was bound to be on there. This album uses some of the experiments they did in Transcendental Youth and Beat the Champ to go into a different direction with no guitars, no comped vocals, and no pitch correction (Thanks Merge). It’s a quieter, mellower album than what they did before- introducing a little more jazz and ending on the deluxe version with ambient tracks of all things. I wasn’t expecting this album for another year, honestly. Man, I was hype when I found out and man, was I hype when I opened that envelope too. I’m hardcore, but I’m not that hardcore.
• Lorde – Melodrama: I was most excited for and most worried about this album. I want Lorde to succeed and one of the toughest things to execute in the music industry is a sophomore album. I know she’s a talented singer-songwriter, and it shines on this album. She maintains the ethereal vocals that we heard in Pure Heroine but makes it more of a personal reflection of herself and her mental state… and it comes out beautifully.
• Dirty Projectors – Dirty Projectors: I’m in the minority for this one, or so I’ve heard. I think this is one of the first albums of 2017 I kept going back and listening to in my personal time. The R&B direction that Longstreth goes in is chaotic but the songwriting brings it back to a cleaner album that I personally found enjoyable. 
• Spoon – Hot Thoughts: I honestly was really excited when I heard the lead single for the first time on my new phone. No song on here disappoints, but it’s just a good record to jam to in the shower for a bit.
• Gorillaz – Humanz: I’m in the minority here too. Pop albums can be great or can be crap, and it depends on if you get what the artist is aiming for. Humanz is meant to be more chaotic, more of a party at the end of the world- and it doesn’t hurt the album that I enjoy the band’s other works. Say it’s not like “old Gorillaz” all you want- Albarn wanted to take more of a backseat and curate something instead. And come on, Mavis Staples is on it!
• The New Pornographers – Whiteout Conditions: I wasn’t expecting to like this album as much as I did honestly. I hadn’t heard any of the singles, but it was one of the albums I kept revisiting while locked in the art studio building finishing assignments.
• Jesca Hoop – Memories Are Now: One of the first ones this year I really enjoyed! I heard her album with Sam Beam of Iron and Wine and was excited that this was coming out soon. It’s quite a gorgeous album with a very light feel of it, but with some songwriting that really can sting when you think about it. It’s a great winter album.
• The Black Angels – Death Song: Here’s an album that pleasantly surprised me, and it was mainly through songwriting. I pay a lot of attention to that when listening to albums, especially on the first run through. I wasn’t expecting it given the singles, but some of the later tracks and deeper cuts wowed me with how amazing they are.
• Priests – Nothing Feels Natural: I LOVE LOVE LOVE angry girl rock and while Priests isn’t just a girl band, Katie Alice Greer gets the angry vibe down pat. I was later told “they’ve done nothing new and it’s not a new movement” but you know, it doesn’t mean that they didn’t do it well.
• Alt-J – RELAXER: I know exactly why people are shitting on this album (one song in particular) and the album is definitely Alt-J trying on new hats. That’s fine, and Alt-J is an acquired taste I’ve at least been able to like. This album has some gorgeous tracks on it, and one miss on an album shouldn’t disqualify it.
• Perfume Genius – No Shape: I enjoy art pop a lot, and this one was another grower. I really needed to sit down and listen to it to fully appreciate what was happening on the album, but when I finally did it was amazing. I can barely describe it properly in words.
• Dan Auerbach – Waiting On A Song: A little bit of sunshine for the summer, with some fun pop and garage on the same album. Auerbach definitely defines himself as “not the Black Keys” and there’s just some tracks I find really sweet on here. 

Hey, I don’t see Father John Misty/Kendrick/Jay-Z/Fleet Foxes/some other album on here WTF!!!!

Father John Misty can fight me, I don’t have Tidal, and these albums take multiple listens. I haven’t given Kendrick the attention DAMN. deserves yet because I’ve been busy and trying my best. It’s a headspace thing. Otherwise, I don’t like the album that much, or didn’t have what I want to love in an album.

But hey, what are you looking forward to?

• The National – Sleep Well Beast: This album is going to be really sad, but the songs I’ve heard so far are beautiful and are doing the job of getting me hyped.
• Kesha – Rainbow: Weird appearance on this list, but guess what- I’m excited for Kesha. Her songs are bops and this is what a pop album should be like. I can tell it’ll be really empowering and definitely will be needed for the times to come. Come at me.
• St. Vincent – ???: I know it’s coming, and that new track New York is amazing. I’m ready.
• LCD Soundsystem – American Dream: More 8 minute long dance tracks! Let’s do this! Also, that SNL appearance was funny because of the keyboard guy in the background, and I hope he’s getting well paid for it.
• Rostam – Half Light: This will be Rostam’s first album away from Vampire Weekend, and I’m excited to see more of what he can do.
• The Killers – Wonderful Wonderful: COMING OUT OF MY CAGE AND I’VE BEEN DOING JUST FINE-

Rumors that have me excited:

• Modest Mouse
• Courtney Barnett and Kurt Vile
• Vampire Weekend

Check out the Spotify playlist I made of the top, but with no singles because I could be entirely wrong and disappointed. Believe me, it’s happened before.

Make good choices,

Britt